Passive aggresive MySpace status updates, I suppose are my topic, though I’m also including hyper-emotional ones. I should have taken some screenshots this morning, because they’re funnier in context, but my mouse finger is quick when it comes to checking that little ’delete friend’ box — not so much with an actual friend, but infinitely so when I can’t remember who the hell the person is, and their avatar is a tight, flash photo of their not-so-great face in a pout, and the status is something like: “Kenny has been hurt by the selfishness of others.”

Or:

“is ready to forgive you, Michael, if you promise you can change.”
“is thinking about just leaving all you fake people behind.”
“is tired of every one juging me insted of just living they life.”
“is starting to lose weight so she can fit in to this shallow, meaningless society.”
“is emotionally exhausted from divorce.”
“wishes she had a real friend to talk to.”

Etcetera.

My personal stance is that it’s okay to sound a little emotional in one’s blog from time to time, but not exceeding fifteen percent of the time. No naming names or edging ’round sideways to it. Emotional status updates, however, are like sticking mean little post-it notes on the desks of strangers about how much you’ve been victimized, which is less than cute.

Of course, there’s also the matter of the entirely passive-agressive profile — a veritable parade of angsty flair. Those are most notable among highschool drop-outs in the throes of a real or percieved breakup, and also among wildly unattractive mid-western gay aestheticians in their early-thirties.